Wendy Sloneker
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The Specifics of Feeling Better

2/22/2023

 
I wish someone had told me about this… it would’ve saved me so much time and pain.

One thing that will help you move through a painful season a  little more quickly is getting specific.
Listen. This is not about toxic positivity or wishful thinking. This is about specific experiences you want to have and know are possible, even if you don’t know how it’ll happen.

Specifics are what the mind can work with… they can be compelling, evocative, and feelings surface when we think and create sense-based specifics.

What will I experience with my senses? Not just at the end of this journey, but also along the way?

Notice I am not asking “What will make it better?”
Many times people think that outside circumstances or people will “make them” feel better. This is not the case. Having a new job or a new love interest will continue to keep you dependent on what happens outside of you to “make you” happy, content, secure.

That’s not what I offer or work through. 
​
I work with what’s inside of you so no matter what happens (or doesn’t) you navigate well and are grounded and secure in your own experience and desire. 
Picture
We continue to go inside. This is where the juice and goodness is. This is your playground. 
And. You can activate it now… by using your imagination. Let’s play a little bit right here… you can go on to write or journal about it, but let’s get started.
Here are a few examples that my Private Clients have experienced:
  • I’m not feeling as much (or any) guilt or shame about the relationship or event.
  • I’m not blaming or resentful of what happened. I don’t love it, but my emotion around this has really leveled out. There’s a sense of calm and peace.
  • I don’t wake up crying or with a sense of dread every day.
  • There are whole days I don’t cry anymore. 
  • I have moments, a few times a day, where I feel curious about what could happen next, and I’m not scared or afraid.
  • I’m not obsessing about how “I’ll never…”, “I need…”, or “I hope…” in the evenings.
  • I’m less in my head and more present in my life at work, with my kids, with my friends, with my babe.
  • I let myself laugh and have fun with friends and loved ones. 
  • It’s a little easier to take care of myself… I had a hard time getting myself in the shower, and now it’s not a big deal. 
  • I sleep way better now and am sleeping all the way through most nights.
  • I don’t feel alone or lonely, even on my own.
* Which of these are you interested in? 
* Are there any prompts here that don’t feel possible? 
This is important to notice… and ask why… So. Why?
* Or are you in a place where you want to believe they are  possible?

Also important to notice… And… Why?
* Which are you willing to work through to experience?

Here's My Invitation to You
I wish someone had shared this with me when I was in my deepest & darkest… I got through to the other side, but it took a long time, and I fumbled around quite a lot in the 2-steps forward, 2-3 steps back dance. It was more painful and took longer than what I offer with my Private Clients now. 

So, don’t take my word for this… practice a few specifics and try them on. How does it feel for your own dear self? And how long would you like to spend “figuring it out” for yourself? 
​

Connect with me for gentle, guided, results-based support that will avoid unnecessary  pitfalls, distractions, and repeated events & relationships. Making the initial appointment starts your transformation and healing… in a big way. 

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WENDY SLONEKER, grief COACh & specialist

4701 SW Admiral Way #129, Seattle, WA 98116 UNITED STATES


Land Acknowledgement​
my business and home are located on the traditional land of the first people of Seattle,
the Duwamish People past and present. i honor with gratitude the land itself and the Duwamish Tribe.


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