 The short story here is that we have a habit of bypassing the heart and nervous system in order to alleviate the pressure from the mind shouting to, “fix it now”, or “hurry”. Based in fear.
We do this by making reactive, slapdash decisions to “do something…anything” immediately. Listen. This is not something to judge. This is something to NOTICE. Noticing is enough. Got it? Now. Feeling the feeling that is under the circumstance is a way to give yourself new understanding, more presence, more love, more compassion, and way more vitality in order to determine the next action… based in love. Feeling the feeling will actually illuminate the next & best right thing to do, try, attempt. AND it will help release emotional pain or energy that is ready to go. You have not been taught this. YET. Not many people in the world operate this way. This is a new level of self-support and care. This may be incredibly foreign and unfamiliar… and it may be YOUR NEXT RIGHT THING to try, see, notice, and develop. Short term, desperate attempts to deny feelings don’t work long term. It’s a battle you’ll fight again and again… and it’s exhausting. There’s a better, gentler, more-effective way. And it’s time you learned. Yep. How to feel a feeling. I’m teaching it later this month I have a How to Feel a Feeling Training Event coming up on Thursday, April 20, 2023… 10am Pacific - for an hour. You are definitely invited… Sign Up Now. It’ll be awesome! Another option to learn how to feel a feeling is available in my Going Inside program. If you’d rather learn now, and not wait for the free training on the 20th, hop into the hub of my Group Coaching Program: GoingInside.Me Love to have you join me there.  I’ve been talking with a few people recently about Anticipatory Grief… pets who are aging, loved ones who have received a terminal diagnosis, estranged family who are dealing with chronic conditions and making requests of all kinds… The gamut. It’s here.
Because life continues to happen… both beginnings and endings. There’s nothing wrong with life doing what life does. We can feel pain and sadness when we identify that losses are happening now. In the case of all of the above instances the following gets to be identified:
It’s a part in our natural human brains that is about the size of a peanut (referred to after this as The Peanut), and this part wants to: Seek pleasure Avoid pain Keep things familiar and the same This isn’t always possible in life. Not by a long shot. We are actually here to explore and navigate changes of many kinds. And Anticipatory Grief, when we notice changes, is part of the package in a full, well-lived, well-loved life. It can totally sting, be scary, get tender, feel sad or bittersweet, and feelings/emotions bloom in our hearts and bodies. I’ll be speaking more about this in the coming weeks, but for now, I want to normalize the experience of Anticipatory Grief. It’s totally a thing. It’s also not wrong to notice small changes, feel afraid of the uncertain next, and maybe even dread it a little bit. It’s also okay to be in the moment that you have, with all that is the way it is, at this moment. It’s excellent to remind yourself to be here right now… This moment is still where your life currently IS, where possibility is, and where you can really make your biggest impact in your own dear life. Right here. Right now. This is 100% where your life is happening. And that is a certain thing. |
