Anticipatory Grief… Ongoing MicroLosses

I’ve been talking with a few people recently about Anticipatory Grief… pets who are aging, loved ones who have received a terminal diagnosis, estranged family who are dealing with chronic conditions and making requests of all kinds… The gamut. It’s here.

Because life continues to happen… both beginnings and endings. 

There’s nothing wrong with life doing what life does.

​We can feel pain and sadness when we identify that losses are happening now. In the case of all of the above instances the following gets to be identified: 

1. What we know, or how things are right now, is going to change.
2. Specific abilities and circumstances and resources will change, behave, and feel different than what is known and familiar now. 

There are more, but these 2 alone can really scare a specific part of our brains.
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It’s a part in our natural human brains that is about the size of a peanut (referred to after this as The Peanut), and this part wants to: 
Seek pleasure
Avoid pain
Keep things familiar and the same

This isn’t always possible in life. Not by a long shot. We are actually here to explore and navigate changes of many kinds. And Anticipatory Grief, when we notice changes, is part of the package in a full, well-lived, well-loved life. It can totally sting, be scary, get tender, feel sad or bittersweet, and feelings/emotions bloom in our hearts and bodies. 

I’ll be speaking more about this in the coming weeks, but for now, I want to normalize the experience of Anticipatory Grief.

It’s totally a thing.

It’s also not wrong to notice small changes, feel afraid of the uncertain next, and maybe even dread it a little bit.

It’s also okay to be in the moment that you have, with all that is the way it is, at this moment. It’s excellent to remind yourself to be here right now… This moment is still where your life currently IS, where possibility is, and where you can really make your biggest impact in your own dear life.

Right here. Right now.
This is 100% where your life is happening.
And that is a certain thing.

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