Noticing the Hidden Grief Inside of Stress & Stressors

There are lots of changes going on in life right now.
Uhmmmmm…. Is that sentence an understatement for anyone here at all?
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I’d like to talk a bit about how stress is often used as a way to hide grief.

Stress, as a term, is often noted or even valued in our society. It alludes to doing or to something happening in life. Some of those things could hold grief. Let’s look at a few examples. 

It is stressful to experience marital separation. I don’t think anyone is gonna argue that… but what’ isn’t noted is that the relationship is strained, in trouble, or changing/changed… so, there is a big ol’ chance that grief and loss are here too.

A major business readjustment brings stress. For sure. And… in light of recent layoffs happening throughout the country…  grief is here too. There are people experiencing their first layoffs from their first-ever jobs right now. Even when a layoff has nothing to do with a person’s performance, feelings of shame, hurt, resentment, and bitterness can come up. Totally. 

Disappointments, changes that bring uncertainty, less-than optimal new protocols being rolled out with some rocky transitions… anyone? Disruptions to a regular routine can bring about feelings of loss and many times a decreased capacity for concentration or focus as a very natural symptom of grief and loss.

One More
If a loved one experiences a major personal injury or illness, it can definitely bring about new and significant stress levels. For sure. This can change aspects of a relationship temporarily, or permanently, in some cases.

Also true if someone experiences an injury or illness themselves. Let’s say someone is in a terrible car accident and they have a spinal injury as a result. This person has stress, yes. And also physical trauma, absolutely. 

What else? They may also have grief over how their body may not be functioning the same way anymore. The future they envisioned is now not possible or not likely… This can be devastating… and can really affect a person’s sense of identity as well. And it can feel like loss.

So if you - or someone you love - is noting or noticing lots of stress… I’d love for you to open yourself to the possibility that grief may also be present… and perhaps a little bit hidden. 

This happens. It’s nothing to judge, and it’s probably not conscious in the middle of change… but it may be present… and it will help to be aware of it.
Thinking of you, 
Wendy