*A note about the flying poo emoji image… sometimes it’s really just the most appropriate illustration to use when talking about loss and grief. More than once, in my own experience, life has felt like a “Sh**Show”.... Or, “PooStorm” if that works. No offense meant. Only real, connective care. And, okay, maybe a giggle.
It’s not that you don’t want to feel better… not by a long shot.
Like many… well, actually most, you may not know where to begin.
This was me too.
For a long time, I pushed off the “feelings thing” until I couldn’t anymore. One more thing would happen, and I’d shuffle it over or stuff it inside, and double-down on work, a new nutrition program, cleaning behind the fridge and stove. Anything but the emotions. I was overwhelmed and full-body resistant to the prospect.
And then one more thing happened. It was a traumatic event… the one I’ve talked about mannnny times in my podcast… and I felt like I had no choice but to get support in order to:
I felt ill-equipped and inadequate for weeks. I was afraid I couldn’t handle anything that life might have thrown at me next. I was bargaining with life itself and making demands (e.g. Okay, don’t DO anything else to me, You better not make anything happen right now… I just can’t handle it.). I bargained, while fully knowing, that’s not how life works.
Then what happened?
My life got really small.
I was really scared. And I felt hurt. All the time.
The biggest, bravest babystep
The biggest, bravest babystep was when I reached out for support… at my most fearful, most hurt. From my tiniest life.
I felt like I was at a complete loss… and I was afraid of losing, risking more… and here’s the thing… I also didn’t feel like I had anything else to lose.
I pieced a lot of different supports together to get through. And I did get through that scary shadow season.
Now I offer the support I needed. I can walk through scary feelings knowing that I’ve got me. Again and again. Because this human is wired for thoughts and feelings, always have been, always will be.
Now I work with myself. And not against myself.
This is possible for you as well.
It’s not too late. It’s not too awful. It doesn’t have to “take forever”... and, if you’ve been resisting feeling your feelings for awhile, I can tell you - from my own experience and heart - you are equipped and capable. It’s time to learn how to work with yourself… not against yourself.
Big thanks to Gretchen Hernandez for sharing so generously!
If abandonment or rejection are repetitive themes in your mind and/or relationships, connect with me.
Also, if guilt, shame, blame, resentment, or painful yearning are taking up large parts of your world and heart right now. Reach out.
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⭐We'll talk about Private Emergence Support for grief, loss, & shadow seasons: https://calendly.com/wendy-sloneker/45minconnectioncall