 Without support, shadow or grief work can feel like an utter slog.
Heavy, uncertain, painful, and hard to know if any movement or progress is happening. Plus, it sounds so fun, right? I know that for me, more than once, I’ve distracted myself with other things that were preferable at the moment, because I didn’t want to “go there’. These things included:
Does this resonate with anyone? I was going to some lengths to not feel my feelings. I was working hard in my avoidance. Sure, a few things got done around the house… yes, there’s also some merit there…. AND…the “bonus” I wasn’t looking for… I also totally prolonged my own grief season… with my own resistance and avoidance. Not the ideal. Nope. And, I didn’t know. Please hear me when I say this is not a shameful thing. Resistance as a speed bump Resistance? It’s a natural thing… a human thing… It took me a while to easily skip the judgement on my own human wiring… including this component. So back to resistance. It’s like a speed bump in the road on the way to a party. -I heard this line from Alan Cohen in A Course in Miracles Made Easy- In real life, you’re not usually going to turn the car around and go home if there’s a speed bump in the road. We make a sense of resistance mean Don’t do the thing you want/need But we humans, in this time and culture - because we haven’t yet been taught any of the basics about living inside our human bodies - make the speed bumps of resistance mean “go back”... or for my LOTR friends, “You shall not pass.” Our human, highly healthy, completely natural working brains get scared. Resistance often & almost always stems from uncertainty, unfamiliarity, or potential danger. This, right here, all day long, includes not feeling our feelings. It’s understandable… and you don’t need another “job” The prospect of taking on resistance to move through hard feelings can feel like an extra job… one you already don’t have time for… & don’t know how to navigate. So far we’ve been talking about navigating without support. Let’s look at an equally available option… With support With support, the journey can go smoother, pitfalls & rabbit holes can be avoided, reframes and nurturing supports are easy, abundant, & available… It’s a deeper, more thorough journey where the person you’ve hired walks their own walk, and has arrived on the other side of some of their worst nightmares, with peace. Let’s be clear on who you are investing in here… You’re not investing in the professional…(in this case, me). In coaching or any kind of support, the person considering support is not doing so for the benefit or furtherance of the professional. Shoot, I’ve already invested in myself for my journey… with time, money, heart, mistakes, resistance, understanding, eagerness, willingness, curiosity. And I’m still actively investing in all of the ways, for my own self. Why? Because I want more aliveness in my life. And I now know that I get it when I am nurtured and supported. So, for you…You’re investing in your own dear self. Complete with surprises on the way… complete with aliveness and more living in your own life. A little known fact… Even on a notoriously heavy and serious part of a life path, there can be (& usually is) some laughter, some lightness and some momentum… it’s part of the journey, and it can be sprinkled in and experienced early and often. These bits of lightness also allow and encourage us to keep going. Learning to receive during a heart healing from loss journey You can also learn to better receive in all ways, plus learn to love, and look for more, support on this journey. Really want to acknowledge that this can feel especially risky during grief or heartbreak. This is also a completely natural sense… and… feeling risky doesn’t have to mean anything one way or another about your decision. Your readiness to move forward to learn how to release emotional pain and keep all the good stuff is not contingent on feeling 100% absolutely ready. This is also true when we make large investments… sometimes aka commitments… in houses and cars. It feels risky, and we sign. It feels risky, and we move forward with that feeling. One more thing… I’m going to be playing with how I refer to the services I offer… I’m not calling it “Grief Work” anymore. Like I said above, you don’t need another job or role. So let’s begin by playing with this… With me as your coach, reiki practitioner, and intuitive guide, all in one, let’s consider the process more like…. Ahem…. Emotional Swimming Lessons I don’t know that this is the name… but it gives you a better sense of working with me, and of my approach. Imagine what you could do and feel with more support… not more work. (take all the time you need here to really imagine more support in this time and space…. You 100% deserve it and more.) Listen… I have space available for a few private clients right now. I work with only 8 at a time. Complete the initial application and let’s get you swimmin’ toward more aliveness: https://www.wendysloneker.com/grief_recovery_services.html Comments are closed.
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