Episode 9: Embodied vs. “Em-brained”
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Emergence Coach Wendy Sloneker is helping us understand the difference between being Embodied and being “Em-brained” in this episode of Emergence from Life’s Biggest Obstacles.
Wendy shares her experience of what it was like when she was more “em-brained” than embodied — it wasn’t good. The “em-brainment” came with being too much in her own head and getting stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Can you relate? Maybe it’s time to work on becoming more embodied. What does that mean? Wendy explains that embodiment is that gut wisdom, it’s heart wisdom, it’s listening to an “inner voice.” |
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Training yourself to be embodied starts with grounding yourself –– checking in with your body below the neck. It continues with the ability to stay curious –– asking questions of your own thoughts.
If this resonates, and you’re ready to take the next step, Wendy would love to support you. Find out more about Emergence on her website wendysloneker.com or visit goinginside.me for more on her group coaching program.
If this resonates, and you’re ready to take the next step, Wendy would love to support you. Find out more about Emergence on her website wendysloneker.com or visit goinginside.me for more on her group coaching program.
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Full Episode Transcript
Wendy Sloneker
Hello, and it happens to be morning, you are listening to Emergence from Life's Biggest Obstacles with Wendy Sloneker. And this is episode nine.
Hi, I'm so glad we're all back for more, that's one thing we can rely on is that there will be more and more as always coming more is always available. This is life in change, and pretty much repeat. And if you choose to, you could think of it as on demand as well. That just came to me. I'm not sure that I've really practiced on demand, but it's an option.
Today, I want to talk a little bit about the notion of embodied versus em-brained. And it came up this week, when I was checking in with a coach of mine, I get support to just want to normalize. So when I was in a session with my coach, I was talking about embodiment, and then it popped out about being em-brained. And I started thinking back to when I kind of had a season or 10, where I forgot I had a body, I felt like my entire life was up above my neck in my brain and my mind that I couldn't, some of the thoughts were I couldn't control it, my my mind was something that was not in control.
Clearly abdicating some responsibility there for what was going on in my own brain, not realizing that a lot of the negative or challenging thoughts were kind of like, you know, at the time, my unfavorite, but habitual vinyl, they were on the stack, and records just kept playing, and the thoughts just kept getting offered. So I would consider those times as being em-brained when I remembered, and maybe this is a reminder that we have, an entire wisdom system that is more than a 12 pound head that we're walking around with. The wisdom system has to do with the rest of our body, our bodies, and are being like, whoa, I'm super getting into it. So the gut wisdom or the heart wisdom, or the sense of maybe you feel things in your solar plexus or you get a an intuitive nudge that has nothing to do with your brain. This is totally part of that wisdom system.
So as you're going about your day, and hour and minute to minute, like when can you reflect and sometimes it's after the fact. So I really want to let you know that if you don't know what it is in the moment, that's okay. It takes me a while sometimes to understand what I have been feeling and then I start to look for it and catch up to it. So if you're unsure or you feel confronted, because I did for many years, feeling confronted that I'm just not sure how, what how I feel or what I think.
So giving myself and giving yourself time and space to discern, to just be with it. You know, like just because it's not in the moment doesn't mean it's going to be 25 years before you know how you feel. Maybe it's just not time maybe there are other things that are taking precedence, other circumstances that require different decisions and different resources. Every day, is maddeningly and wonderfully and perfectly different. For all of us. This is how dynamic it is to be alive.
Hey, looks like we're here in some bottles crash and some things banging around. Did I mention that I live kind of really close to a grocery store and we're close to the receiving door. So sorry about the noise but this is really living.
What else about embodiment? Well, why would we want to do it? Why would we prefer as an option to try to be or make an effort toward being more embodied? Personally I feel like that just affords us more life, more living and aliveness in life we have. If it's all up in my limited, can't see it all. Usually Doom scrolly. Brain, then I'm missing out on. That's a pretty limited place to live live from. And it's one that in my experience, I would just get smaller and smaller and tighter and more anxious and more. I'd have more heightened and urgent feelings that would not feel good.
If I'm gonna have heightened feelings, I'd like them to be playfulness, contentment, peacefulness, joy, something steady, something secure. When I'm em-brained, and thanks for playing with this whole word thing. When I'm em-brained, it does not feel good. Not necessarily. There may be elements that feel indulgent, like I may have a sense that I'm in control or need control the illusion of that, or I may have a sense of self righteous indulgence.
Totally that one is. That one can be fun and feel powerful. But honestly, big picture years later, it's too expensive. For me, it cost me too much in my time and energy. When I obsess and personally swirl about self righteous indulgence. I just, I don't want to use my energy to pay for that experience. I've paid enough already. So em-brained and state of em-brained myths. It does have some specific hooks, but honestly, it's too hard. And it takes too much time. From me, the cost is too high for me in terms of resources, attention, capacity, these sorts of things. I don't want my world getting smaller and tighter. I want it to get looser and more open. I don't want my heart to get smaller and brittle and tighter. I want it to be soft and expansive. And I want to feel I want to be in my life and feel what's in my life and who is in my life.
First and foremost, that's me. Who am I in my life. It's a big, big playground. It's there's a lot of opportunity. And one way to start would be to be to choose a new focus on when you're embodied and when you're em-brained and there's nothing wrong with being em-brained. And lots of us are doing this, like every day, I would like to be more embodied and change the ratio. That's all my recommendation My offer is that, wow, if you could spend more time in your whole self versus just up in your mind. And I don't know about your inner voice or your self talk. But the tone of mine when it's negative is fairly tyrannical.
Some people I was talking with a client yesterday, and she was talking about and how she has her. Her negative self talk tone is more of snarky, or sarcastic. So mine is tyrannical and it's a brutal beat down. And this is something that I wanted to learn how to work with and not against because I'm not getting rid of it. Like there are times and spaces where it comes in handy in those are dire dangerous moments where that part of my brain can really keep me safe. But it's not every day. It's not needed or necessary every day.
And so when to sort of note or notice that you may be em-brained versus embodied. And that can be when you feel like you're dredging up or moving through the past. This can be when you are fretting about or worrying about the future. These states can also include feelings of shame Shame, or feelings of guilt. This may be when you're more prone to being em-brained versus embodied. And this is not wrong. Again, this is not wrong. You hear the backup noise. Sorry about that. We're just being really real here.
So being embodied versus being em-brained, number one, like you can ground yourself and just check in with different parts of your body. It doesn't have to be anything like major, like, Oh, where are my heels located? On the ground? Where are my elbows resting? What is my hand holding? What is the temperature of my lower back these small inquiries into parts of the body? Can one, just let yourself know that there's more to your life and life experience than just what's going on in your mind? That alone can be a complete relief. And for some, including me, novelty, wow, really, there's more to this than my brain, or what my mind is telling me. I have way more life to live. And I'm here to live it. I'm not here that long.
So these are the thoughts that I have and the suggestions that I have around being embodied more than em-brained, just changing the ratio a little a little bit can bring about new feelings, new insights, new curiosity. This is especially sweet and I wish I had known about this or had understood this. Back when I was just walking around not feeling like I was really available for much in life.
My creativity and loved it was in the middle of a lot of lot of changes in my life that felt really big and important. And I didn't feel like I had much left in terms of capacity, or resources, or choices, or peace. And so walking through, and emerging from has totally been a journey. And this is something I do daily and thoughtfully and gently. And it's a blast.
If you're interested in feeling more alive, I'm gonna recommend like you check in with what's the life going on below your neck, the wisdom going on, in your guts in your pack in your shoulders and neck, in your heart. It's totally there for you as well. And just give another voice to your experience. Give different questions to your thoughts. This is how we do thoughts and feelings management.
In the work that I do with clients, you are invited, and that's coming up next. But for now, thank you for listening. Thank you for being with me. And let me know how it goes in terms of embodiment and embracing meant. Any questions? Love to hear on please send them my way. And have a fantastic week. Okay, wishing you so much aliveness. Bye for now.
Listen, it's already hard enough. It's plenty hard enough. And support is available in my goinginside.me program. That is actually the web address as well. If you're finding that you would prefer to be more responsive and less reactive. This is the place for you. This may seem obvious, but I'll share it anyway. We humans take most of our actions based on feelings. So this includes reactivity. This includes distraction, this includes numbing out. It includes all of it, mostly we just don't know how to do it. So goinginside.me is where we practice and normalize what's actually happening in your life and world. It's a group coaching program as well as a course of modules. This is available. I'd love for you to join me. Go to goinginside.me and check it out. You are 100% invited and you deserve to be supported. Now.
Hello, and it happens to be morning, you are listening to Emergence from Life's Biggest Obstacles with Wendy Sloneker. And this is episode nine.
Hi, I'm so glad we're all back for more, that's one thing we can rely on is that there will be more and more as always coming more is always available. This is life in change, and pretty much repeat. And if you choose to, you could think of it as on demand as well. That just came to me. I'm not sure that I've really practiced on demand, but it's an option.
Today, I want to talk a little bit about the notion of embodied versus em-brained. And it came up this week, when I was checking in with a coach of mine, I get support to just want to normalize. So when I was in a session with my coach, I was talking about embodiment, and then it popped out about being em-brained. And I started thinking back to when I kind of had a season or 10, where I forgot I had a body, I felt like my entire life was up above my neck in my brain and my mind that I couldn't, some of the thoughts were I couldn't control it, my my mind was something that was not in control.
Clearly abdicating some responsibility there for what was going on in my own brain, not realizing that a lot of the negative or challenging thoughts were kind of like, you know, at the time, my unfavorite, but habitual vinyl, they were on the stack, and records just kept playing, and the thoughts just kept getting offered. So I would consider those times as being em-brained when I remembered, and maybe this is a reminder that we have, an entire wisdom system that is more than a 12 pound head that we're walking around with. The wisdom system has to do with the rest of our body, our bodies, and are being like, whoa, I'm super getting into it. So the gut wisdom or the heart wisdom, or the sense of maybe you feel things in your solar plexus or you get a an intuitive nudge that has nothing to do with your brain. This is totally part of that wisdom system.
So as you're going about your day, and hour and minute to minute, like when can you reflect and sometimes it's after the fact. So I really want to let you know that if you don't know what it is in the moment, that's okay. It takes me a while sometimes to understand what I have been feeling and then I start to look for it and catch up to it. So if you're unsure or you feel confronted, because I did for many years, feeling confronted that I'm just not sure how, what how I feel or what I think.
So giving myself and giving yourself time and space to discern, to just be with it. You know, like just because it's not in the moment doesn't mean it's going to be 25 years before you know how you feel. Maybe it's just not time maybe there are other things that are taking precedence, other circumstances that require different decisions and different resources. Every day, is maddeningly and wonderfully and perfectly different. For all of us. This is how dynamic it is to be alive.
Hey, looks like we're here in some bottles crash and some things banging around. Did I mention that I live kind of really close to a grocery store and we're close to the receiving door. So sorry about the noise but this is really living.
What else about embodiment? Well, why would we want to do it? Why would we prefer as an option to try to be or make an effort toward being more embodied? Personally I feel like that just affords us more life, more living and aliveness in life we have. If it's all up in my limited, can't see it all. Usually Doom scrolly. Brain, then I'm missing out on. That's a pretty limited place to live live from. And it's one that in my experience, I would just get smaller and smaller and tighter and more anxious and more. I'd have more heightened and urgent feelings that would not feel good.
If I'm gonna have heightened feelings, I'd like them to be playfulness, contentment, peacefulness, joy, something steady, something secure. When I'm em-brained, and thanks for playing with this whole word thing. When I'm em-brained, it does not feel good. Not necessarily. There may be elements that feel indulgent, like I may have a sense that I'm in control or need control the illusion of that, or I may have a sense of self righteous indulgence.
Totally that one is. That one can be fun and feel powerful. But honestly, big picture years later, it's too expensive. For me, it cost me too much in my time and energy. When I obsess and personally swirl about self righteous indulgence. I just, I don't want to use my energy to pay for that experience. I've paid enough already. So em-brained and state of em-brained myths. It does have some specific hooks, but honestly, it's too hard. And it takes too much time. From me, the cost is too high for me in terms of resources, attention, capacity, these sorts of things. I don't want my world getting smaller and tighter. I want it to get looser and more open. I don't want my heart to get smaller and brittle and tighter. I want it to be soft and expansive. And I want to feel I want to be in my life and feel what's in my life and who is in my life.
First and foremost, that's me. Who am I in my life. It's a big, big playground. It's there's a lot of opportunity. And one way to start would be to be to choose a new focus on when you're embodied and when you're em-brained and there's nothing wrong with being em-brained. And lots of us are doing this, like every day, I would like to be more embodied and change the ratio. That's all my recommendation My offer is that, wow, if you could spend more time in your whole self versus just up in your mind. And I don't know about your inner voice or your self talk. But the tone of mine when it's negative is fairly tyrannical.
Some people I was talking with a client yesterday, and she was talking about and how she has her. Her negative self talk tone is more of snarky, or sarcastic. So mine is tyrannical and it's a brutal beat down. And this is something that I wanted to learn how to work with and not against because I'm not getting rid of it. Like there are times and spaces where it comes in handy in those are dire dangerous moments where that part of my brain can really keep me safe. But it's not every day. It's not needed or necessary every day.
And so when to sort of note or notice that you may be em-brained versus embodied. And that can be when you feel like you're dredging up or moving through the past. This can be when you are fretting about or worrying about the future. These states can also include feelings of shame Shame, or feelings of guilt. This may be when you're more prone to being em-brained versus embodied. And this is not wrong. Again, this is not wrong. You hear the backup noise. Sorry about that. We're just being really real here.
So being embodied versus being em-brained, number one, like you can ground yourself and just check in with different parts of your body. It doesn't have to be anything like major, like, Oh, where are my heels located? On the ground? Where are my elbows resting? What is my hand holding? What is the temperature of my lower back these small inquiries into parts of the body? Can one, just let yourself know that there's more to your life and life experience than just what's going on in your mind? That alone can be a complete relief. And for some, including me, novelty, wow, really, there's more to this than my brain, or what my mind is telling me. I have way more life to live. And I'm here to live it. I'm not here that long.
So these are the thoughts that I have and the suggestions that I have around being embodied more than em-brained, just changing the ratio a little a little bit can bring about new feelings, new insights, new curiosity. This is especially sweet and I wish I had known about this or had understood this. Back when I was just walking around not feeling like I was really available for much in life.
My creativity and loved it was in the middle of a lot of lot of changes in my life that felt really big and important. And I didn't feel like I had much left in terms of capacity, or resources, or choices, or peace. And so walking through, and emerging from has totally been a journey. And this is something I do daily and thoughtfully and gently. And it's a blast.
If you're interested in feeling more alive, I'm gonna recommend like you check in with what's the life going on below your neck, the wisdom going on, in your guts in your pack in your shoulders and neck, in your heart. It's totally there for you as well. And just give another voice to your experience. Give different questions to your thoughts. This is how we do thoughts and feelings management.
In the work that I do with clients, you are invited, and that's coming up next. But for now, thank you for listening. Thank you for being with me. And let me know how it goes in terms of embodiment and embracing meant. Any questions? Love to hear on please send them my way. And have a fantastic week. Okay, wishing you so much aliveness. Bye for now.
Listen, it's already hard enough. It's plenty hard enough. And support is available in my goinginside.me program. That is actually the web address as well. If you're finding that you would prefer to be more responsive and less reactive. This is the place for you. This may seem obvious, but I'll share it anyway. We humans take most of our actions based on feelings. So this includes reactivity. This includes distraction, this includes numbing out. It includes all of it, mostly we just don't know how to do it. So goinginside.me is where we practice and normalize what's actually happening in your life and world. It's a group coaching program as well as a course of modules. This is available. I'd love for you to join me. Go to goinginside.me and check it out. You are 100% invited and you deserve to be supported. Now.
