Episode 59: What Not To Do On Really Low & Painful Days
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It is okay to have a low day
Wendy is a little under the weather, so she’s helping us remember how important it is to take care of ourselves. Some days are your “low” days and it is OKAY to have these days. Take care of yourself and give yourself some comfort on a low day. Don’t pressure yourself to be “on” or make big decisions. Take the cue from your brain and body to take the rest you need and give yourself a break. The tough moments are temporary, so try to find a way to be kind to yourself in a hard moment. |
Wendy shares about not making big decisions during low days.
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You are Invited
If you're ready for some tools to navigate your own rough days related to grief and loss, contact Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker for a complimentary consultation. You'll find her at her website, wendysloneker.com.
If you're ready for some tools to navigate your own rough days related to grief and loss, contact Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker for a complimentary consultation. You'll find her at her website, wendysloneker.com.
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Full Episode Transcript
Wendy Sloneker
Listen to the Heart Healing from Loss podcast with Wendy Sloneker. This is episode 59.
Hi there. Hi, this is going to be a little shorty episode. So the message is direct, but also brief, kind of sick and it sort of started coming on on Sunday night, the time that I'm recording, this is Wednesday. And I wasn't feeling well. And my brain, my healthy human, active, imaginative. Sometimes big jerk brain decided to tell me lots and lots of things that were unhelpful and downright mean.
It my brain has opinions. Now what else is going on is that things are changing in my services and in my offerings. So there's some new elements to them. I'm not going to go into that today. But I want you to know that this is pretty significant change for my business and my nervous system.
So Sunday, when I started to not feel physically well, like a cold, I started developing a cough, sore throat, headache, this sort of stuff. Well, it started to be really a big jerk. So I remembered what that was like when I was in deep grief, but also in early days of recovery. Yeah, I'm comfortable. And my brain was getting really loud about, you know, who are you to do this? How is that going to work, that's definitely not going to work, this sort of stuff. So I want to offer that if and when you are having an especially low day, due to lots of change, lots of emotional pain plus physical unwellness. It could be any sort of life event combination cocktail, if you will.
On the especially low days, here's what I don't want to share. Those are not the days to make, like final decisions about anything in your life. Even if your brain is saying this is definitely not a good idea. You should really hang it all up. Quit it all and go back to you know, teaching Zumba or. And Zumba was great. That's another story. But you should hang it all up and just get yourself a $12 an hour job. Don't even think they have those really anymore. They might but yeah, those days with those feelings of being so low, and so already hurting already hard. You might also be exhausted. These are not the days to make decisions about your life.
They don't have to be even if your brain says yep, hanging it up. Those are the days to get yourself another big glass of water. Cuddle up and curl up even just for a few minutes it will work just for a few minutes to give yourself some comfort in the way that nobody else can.
This is about hey, brain when you're this loud, I think you're really scared when you're this mean I think you're trying to keep me safe when you are both loud and mean I think you're terrified. And so we're gonna like be safe right here in this space in these few minutes. And you just stay with yourself. You don't have to decide anything. If if you need a job for your brain, want you to give it this question. What's the kindest thing I can do or think right now? Either around this topic or around something else this is radical self care.
Advanced, I might say, advanced self care. What's the kindest, sweetest, most comforting thing I can do? Because when my brain is scared, my nervous system gets really activated. Heart starts racing anxiety, sort of spikes cortisol. Yep, she's in the house, the whole thing. And honestly, those aren't, that's not where I want to be making like big decisions from, what's the rest of my life gonna look like? Or it's always going to be this way.
No, no, this moment is tough. And temporary. This work is radical. It's actually revolutionary. Because it involves staying with your own dear self through some really hard moments. And, you know, with a brain that might feel a little bit on fire. That's how mine feels when it's loud and telling me jerky stuff and stuff like that. judgment comes up, worry comes up. It's going to tell me it's a terrible idea. All of it. All of it, that cavalcade of negativity, I don't have to do scroll on my phone, I can just do that with my mind.
And there's another way. And that looks like okay, I see this happening. I'm onto your brain. You're scared. I'm going to just be quiet, get safe. Not listen to everything you say as though it were true. Not believe everything I think. But I see that this is happening. I must be really scared. There must be something really, really frightening about this. Not gonna decide. I'm gonna take care of myself right now. It's enough. Give it five minutes. And if you have to give it three. And then if you can give it three more. One to grow on. Why not?
Okay. This this is the episode. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being with yourself. Even through tough moments, even through moments that don't feel great. It's a big deal. And you're very worth it. The most worth it.This is hard work. This is also showing up. So well done. And I'll talk to you next week. Okay, bye bye now.
Hi, this is Wendy, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me for you. Yeah, the whole purpose of walking through grief and loss is to find out how to feel better. Did you know there are tools and skills to be learned about how to do this? Yeah, for real, and I do it.
Let's get on a connection call. It's a 45 minute Free call. We'd love to offer to you when you're ready. And we'll just see if we'd be a good fit to work together. If you're ready for a little more support, and not less, and if you're ready to feel a little bit better. And to find out how to learn these tools and skills. I'm ready for you. Reach out through my website. Connect with me directly through [email protected] and we'll set it up. Heck yeah, we will. Alright, till then. take really good care. Bye bye
Listen to the Heart Healing from Loss podcast with Wendy Sloneker. This is episode 59.
Hi there. Hi, this is going to be a little shorty episode. So the message is direct, but also brief, kind of sick and it sort of started coming on on Sunday night, the time that I'm recording, this is Wednesday. And I wasn't feeling well. And my brain, my healthy human, active, imaginative. Sometimes big jerk brain decided to tell me lots and lots of things that were unhelpful and downright mean.
It my brain has opinions. Now what else is going on is that things are changing in my services and in my offerings. So there's some new elements to them. I'm not going to go into that today. But I want you to know that this is pretty significant change for my business and my nervous system.
So Sunday, when I started to not feel physically well, like a cold, I started developing a cough, sore throat, headache, this sort of stuff. Well, it started to be really a big jerk. So I remembered what that was like when I was in deep grief, but also in early days of recovery. Yeah, I'm comfortable. And my brain was getting really loud about, you know, who are you to do this? How is that going to work, that's definitely not going to work, this sort of stuff. So I want to offer that if and when you are having an especially low day, due to lots of change, lots of emotional pain plus physical unwellness. It could be any sort of life event combination cocktail, if you will.
On the especially low days, here's what I don't want to share. Those are not the days to make, like final decisions about anything in your life. Even if your brain is saying this is definitely not a good idea. You should really hang it all up. Quit it all and go back to you know, teaching Zumba or. And Zumba was great. That's another story. But you should hang it all up and just get yourself a $12 an hour job. Don't even think they have those really anymore. They might but yeah, those days with those feelings of being so low, and so already hurting already hard. You might also be exhausted. These are not the days to make decisions about your life.
They don't have to be even if your brain says yep, hanging it up. Those are the days to get yourself another big glass of water. Cuddle up and curl up even just for a few minutes it will work just for a few minutes to give yourself some comfort in the way that nobody else can.
This is about hey, brain when you're this loud, I think you're really scared when you're this mean I think you're trying to keep me safe when you are both loud and mean I think you're terrified. And so we're gonna like be safe right here in this space in these few minutes. And you just stay with yourself. You don't have to decide anything. If if you need a job for your brain, want you to give it this question. What's the kindest thing I can do or think right now? Either around this topic or around something else this is radical self care.
Advanced, I might say, advanced self care. What's the kindest, sweetest, most comforting thing I can do? Because when my brain is scared, my nervous system gets really activated. Heart starts racing anxiety, sort of spikes cortisol. Yep, she's in the house, the whole thing. And honestly, those aren't, that's not where I want to be making like big decisions from, what's the rest of my life gonna look like? Or it's always going to be this way.
No, no, this moment is tough. And temporary. This work is radical. It's actually revolutionary. Because it involves staying with your own dear self through some really hard moments. And, you know, with a brain that might feel a little bit on fire. That's how mine feels when it's loud and telling me jerky stuff and stuff like that. judgment comes up, worry comes up. It's going to tell me it's a terrible idea. All of it. All of it, that cavalcade of negativity, I don't have to do scroll on my phone, I can just do that with my mind.
And there's another way. And that looks like okay, I see this happening. I'm onto your brain. You're scared. I'm going to just be quiet, get safe. Not listen to everything you say as though it were true. Not believe everything I think. But I see that this is happening. I must be really scared. There must be something really, really frightening about this. Not gonna decide. I'm gonna take care of myself right now. It's enough. Give it five minutes. And if you have to give it three. And then if you can give it three more. One to grow on. Why not?
Okay. This this is the episode. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being with yourself. Even through tough moments, even through moments that don't feel great. It's a big deal. And you're very worth it. The most worth it.This is hard work. This is also showing up. So well done. And I'll talk to you next week. Okay, bye bye now.
Hi, this is Wendy, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me for you. Yeah, the whole purpose of walking through grief and loss is to find out how to feel better. Did you know there are tools and skills to be learned about how to do this? Yeah, for real, and I do it.
Let's get on a connection call. It's a 45 minute Free call. We'd love to offer to you when you're ready. And we'll just see if we'd be a good fit to work together. If you're ready for a little more support, and not less, and if you're ready to feel a little bit better. And to find out how to learn these tools and skills. I'm ready for you. Reach out through my website. Connect with me directly through [email protected] and we'll set it up. Heck yeah, we will. Alright, till then. take really good care. Bye bye
