Episode 45: Awakened & Conscious, Thanks to Pain, Grief, and Loss
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Remembering Those Who Have Passed
In this episode, Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker remembers people she has known and lost and how their lives and passing have impacted others, including Wendy and her work. Even in remembering those who have passed, we can remember that we aren't alone. Those we remember remain with us. Are We Living "Asleep"? One friend referred to herself as "Pollyanna of the Apocalypse" — another said that too many of us live our lives "asleep." The wisdom and humor of people really should never be lost. And it won't, as long as those who remain, remember. Loss and pain are hard. But they can also act as lessons, if we're open to the gifts they give us. |
The wisdom and humor that we remember helps those we have lost, live in our memories.
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You are Invited
If grief has caused you to close yourself off, please reach out to Wendy. A complimentary call could help set you on the path to healing. You'll find Wendy at wendysloneker.com.
More on Lizann:
Lizann’s website: https://www.lizannbassham.com/
Post from Jeff’s Jottings: https://jeffsjottings.wordpress.com/tag/lizann-bassham/
If grief has caused you to close yourself off, please reach out to Wendy. A complimentary call could help set you on the path to healing. You'll find Wendy at wendysloneker.com.
More on Lizann:
Lizann’s website: https://www.lizannbassham.com/
Post from Jeff’s Jottings: https://jeffsjottings.wordpress.com/tag/lizann-bassham/
As seen on: |
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Full Episode Transcript
Wendy Sloneker
You are listening to the Heart Healing from Loss Podcast, episode 45. This episode is dedicated to Lizann Bassham, her memory, her loved ones. And turns out that's our loved ones. What?
Yeah, we're going to talk a little bit about. Well, a few things. First, I want to say hello. Hi, welcome, and welcome back. Hi, everybody.
It's nearing the end of October. And I'm pretty excited to tell you a little bit about Lizann Bassham. This is somebody that I knew when she was alive and on the planet just a little bit, I didn't know her, as well as some I knew her maybe a little bit better than others.
The honor is that I knew her. And I want to talk a little bit about a little bit about what I know of her path, and a little bit of what she had shared with me a long, long time ago. And I also want to share that I found out a little bit more about this fantastic woman from a blog post on Jeffsjottings.wordpress.com Lizann was tagged here.
And this is somebody that I met when I was a teen early young woman. So early 20s, that sort of thing. And this was somebody that as a young person, I knew her as some somehow just a spiritual, loving presence. And she played the guitar, I would see her dancing and observing and just being with people and loving them and holding space.
I found out this morning on this blog post on Jeff's Jottings that she also adopted a nickname. She adopted the nickname of Pollyanna of the Apocalypse. And Jeff writes, “because she was able to see hopeful signs in the midst of disaster and destruction in the midst of chaos and confusion.”
This kind of blows my mind. And and I'm thinking of her lately, and recently and frequently, she's coming to mind. And so I just would love to share a little bit about her. Lizann went through, she was diagnosed with some form of cancer. And I don't know how long she was with this. This condition was with her I don't know how long she was dealing with it. But I do know that we were in connection as she neared her passing.
And it was a condition for her that appeared and changed the the shape of her face. And so it was very apparent. It was also I imagined, quite, quite painful. It was a weepy wound and sometimes that would, that would open up and seep. That's the nature of what she was just moving through and navigating. She was very clear. And she was also beautiful.
She totally had her humanity all intact, I'm sure. And it was it was just a phenomenal and startling thing to receive her messages and her notes. I want to dedicate this episode to her because I knew her. This is a way of honoring and sharing and you know, it brings to mind another person who went through something similar years before Lizann did and it was a customer who when I worked at Fusion Beads here in Seattle, it was a renowned bead store for many many years and there was a customer who came in. And she had a similar condition. I don't know what the condition was, but she was dealing with something that was showing up on her face. It was on her lower jaw into her neck. And it was large. And it was clearly noticeable, right. And so this was something that she was contending with.
And I would go up and see how she was doing. And she was somebody who would come in, frequently, fairly regularly. And we would get to talking as people in bead stores sometimes do. And, and we would go kind of deep sometimes then she looked at me one day she I was standing on her right side, I was standing to the right of her. And she looked over. And she said to me, you know, most of us are really asleep. We're just kind of, we're just there are so many who were really unconscious.
And that was a phrase that really stayed with me. And then nature of her I don't know what happened to this beautiful woman to this, this customer of Fusion Beads. But that stayed with me. And I feel like in a way she stayed with me because that phrase stayed with me.
It's something that's given me pause more than once. Over the years, allow me to share that Fusion Beads has been closed for a while now. I haven't worked there since, it's been at least 10 years since I worked there, so it's been a while. And she's still with me, because her words are with me.
And this is how I recognize and honor that one. You know, I'm not alone. And two, what is two, clearly, I'm not scripted here.
What else, there's power here. There's a sense of life and aliveness, even though this I haven't seen this person in over a decade, I no longer see communications from Lizann. I don't see any videos of her dancing in her back garden. But I can still learn about them. And her this morning, I just found out about Pollyanna of the Apocalypse. Right? So there are things to still learn even about someone who's gone before.
And sometimes this can be really painful. And sometimes you don't want to know anything else because you just want them in your life, the way it was. That's not our nature. Our nature is change. And so there's comfort here, I guess that could be number three, is there's comfort in remembering a little bit in order to take the next step in our day.
I'd like to share a word about that phrase, the the Fusion Beads, woman, the woman from Fusion, she wasn't the customer. Okay? What she said around you know, there are so many people who are unconscious are who were asleep, to real living. That's when I'm making those words mean, there's a dream sense of, this is all there is or this is what we're working with and dealing with and it's all outside of us.
The more I'm working in this topic, and with fellow humans, all of us. The more the more I'm realizing what an inside job it is to live and be alive and feel alive. There's a lot that goes on outside of us. And it's all a reflection.
Well, what do I even mean by that? aren't sure where that phrase even came from? But I do know in my experience that loss and pain can really help me to wake up and to be awake and to look at what is important to me. And then to act accordingly.
Sometimes it can feel like a real burden. And sometimes I'm able to recognize a few gifts that are really small, but make a big impact. The woman in the store gave me those words how it was a gift. And I was able to hear her at the time. But the more I go on, the more I'm getting it. And the more I'm getting it, because I'm just sifting through it, not constantly, not 24/7. But when it comes to mind, and she comes to mind, and Lizann comes to mind. I feel more alive. And I feel more connected. Because I'm telling myself the truth. And I'm looking at what's possible.
Even with a tinge of bitter sweetness I would love to talk to the Pollyanna of the Apocalypse, right about now. But I can connect inside with what I knew of her. And that's more than a lot of people have ever received. So I'm gonna go in and be grateful. And appreciate that sense. And the ability to feel these feelings. They're actually pretty important. Because they're here. For me, they're important to me, you, my dear, dear listeners.
You have people in your life that can help you feel connected and alive. You have words that you've been given. You have gifts that you've been given. And our nature is change. So we can take some of those gifts with us. And we can take a look at what's important to us. And just keep going. Sometimes we're going to want to and sometimes we are not going to want to this is reasonable, this is understandable.
And sometimes we need a rest. Sometimes we need a little break. Sometimes we need a little distraction before we can pick up and do the important work whatever the important work looks like for you. I'd like to offer that large percentage of important work could be inside work. It's just possible. For me, this has been true. For me, this has been true.
And thinking of you thinking of your loved ones. I'm thinking about the woman in the Fusion Beads store and her journey. I'm thinking about Lizann Bassham and all of her loves and loved ones. I feel really lucky that I got to be one of those.
Thank you for listening. I will speak with you next week. Okay, bye.
Hi, this is Wendy, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me for you. Yeah, the whole purpose of walking through grief and loss is to find out how to feel better. Did you know there are tools and skills to be learned about how to do this?
Yeah, for real, and I do it. Let's get on a connection call. It's a 45 minute Free call. I would love to offer to you when you're ready. And we'll just see if we'd be a good fit to work together. If you're ready for a little more support, and not less, and if you're ready to feel a little bit better, and to find out how to learn these tools and skills I'm ready for you.
Reach out through my website. Connect with me directly through [email protected] and we'll set it up. Heck yeah, we will. All right. Till then take really good care. Bye bye
You are listening to the Heart Healing from Loss Podcast, episode 45. This episode is dedicated to Lizann Bassham, her memory, her loved ones. And turns out that's our loved ones. What?
Yeah, we're going to talk a little bit about. Well, a few things. First, I want to say hello. Hi, welcome, and welcome back. Hi, everybody.
It's nearing the end of October. And I'm pretty excited to tell you a little bit about Lizann Bassham. This is somebody that I knew when she was alive and on the planet just a little bit, I didn't know her, as well as some I knew her maybe a little bit better than others.
The honor is that I knew her. And I want to talk a little bit about a little bit about what I know of her path, and a little bit of what she had shared with me a long, long time ago. And I also want to share that I found out a little bit more about this fantastic woman from a blog post on Jeffsjottings.wordpress.com Lizann was tagged here.
And this is somebody that I met when I was a teen early young woman. So early 20s, that sort of thing. And this was somebody that as a young person, I knew her as some somehow just a spiritual, loving presence. And she played the guitar, I would see her dancing and observing and just being with people and loving them and holding space.
I found out this morning on this blog post on Jeff's Jottings that she also adopted a nickname. She adopted the nickname of Pollyanna of the Apocalypse. And Jeff writes, “because she was able to see hopeful signs in the midst of disaster and destruction in the midst of chaos and confusion.”
This kind of blows my mind. And and I'm thinking of her lately, and recently and frequently, she's coming to mind. And so I just would love to share a little bit about her. Lizann went through, she was diagnosed with some form of cancer. And I don't know how long she was with this. This condition was with her I don't know how long she was dealing with it. But I do know that we were in connection as she neared her passing.
And it was a condition for her that appeared and changed the the shape of her face. And so it was very apparent. It was also I imagined, quite, quite painful. It was a weepy wound and sometimes that would, that would open up and seep. That's the nature of what she was just moving through and navigating. She was very clear. And she was also beautiful.
She totally had her humanity all intact, I'm sure. And it was it was just a phenomenal and startling thing to receive her messages and her notes. I want to dedicate this episode to her because I knew her. This is a way of honoring and sharing and you know, it brings to mind another person who went through something similar years before Lizann did and it was a customer who when I worked at Fusion Beads here in Seattle, it was a renowned bead store for many many years and there was a customer who came in. And she had a similar condition. I don't know what the condition was, but she was dealing with something that was showing up on her face. It was on her lower jaw into her neck. And it was large. And it was clearly noticeable, right. And so this was something that she was contending with.
And I would go up and see how she was doing. And she was somebody who would come in, frequently, fairly regularly. And we would get to talking as people in bead stores sometimes do. And, and we would go kind of deep sometimes then she looked at me one day she I was standing on her right side, I was standing to the right of her. And she looked over. And she said to me, you know, most of us are really asleep. We're just kind of, we're just there are so many who were really unconscious.
And that was a phrase that really stayed with me. And then nature of her I don't know what happened to this beautiful woman to this, this customer of Fusion Beads. But that stayed with me. And I feel like in a way she stayed with me because that phrase stayed with me.
It's something that's given me pause more than once. Over the years, allow me to share that Fusion Beads has been closed for a while now. I haven't worked there since, it's been at least 10 years since I worked there, so it's been a while. And she's still with me, because her words are with me.
And this is how I recognize and honor that one. You know, I'm not alone. And two, what is two, clearly, I'm not scripted here.
What else, there's power here. There's a sense of life and aliveness, even though this I haven't seen this person in over a decade, I no longer see communications from Lizann. I don't see any videos of her dancing in her back garden. But I can still learn about them. And her this morning, I just found out about Pollyanna of the Apocalypse. Right? So there are things to still learn even about someone who's gone before.
And sometimes this can be really painful. And sometimes you don't want to know anything else because you just want them in your life, the way it was. That's not our nature. Our nature is change. And so there's comfort here, I guess that could be number three, is there's comfort in remembering a little bit in order to take the next step in our day.
I'd like to share a word about that phrase, the the Fusion Beads, woman, the woman from Fusion, she wasn't the customer. Okay? What she said around you know, there are so many people who are unconscious are who were asleep, to real living. That's when I'm making those words mean, there's a dream sense of, this is all there is or this is what we're working with and dealing with and it's all outside of us.
The more I'm working in this topic, and with fellow humans, all of us. The more the more I'm realizing what an inside job it is to live and be alive and feel alive. There's a lot that goes on outside of us. And it's all a reflection.
Well, what do I even mean by that? aren't sure where that phrase even came from? But I do know in my experience that loss and pain can really help me to wake up and to be awake and to look at what is important to me. And then to act accordingly.
Sometimes it can feel like a real burden. And sometimes I'm able to recognize a few gifts that are really small, but make a big impact. The woman in the store gave me those words how it was a gift. And I was able to hear her at the time. But the more I go on, the more I'm getting it. And the more I'm getting it, because I'm just sifting through it, not constantly, not 24/7. But when it comes to mind, and she comes to mind, and Lizann comes to mind. I feel more alive. And I feel more connected. Because I'm telling myself the truth. And I'm looking at what's possible.
Even with a tinge of bitter sweetness I would love to talk to the Pollyanna of the Apocalypse, right about now. But I can connect inside with what I knew of her. And that's more than a lot of people have ever received. So I'm gonna go in and be grateful. And appreciate that sense. And the ability to feel these feelings. They're actually pretty important. Because they're here. For me, they're important to me, you, my dear, dear listeners.
You have people in your life that can help you feel connected and alive. You have words that you've been given. You have gifts that you've been given. And our nature is change. So we can take some of those gifts with us. And we can take a look at what's important to us. And just keep going. Sometimes we're going to want to and sometimes we are not going to want to this is reasonable, this is understandable.
And sometimes we need a rest. Sometimes we need a little break. Sometimes we need a little distraction before we can pick up and do the important work whatever the important work looks like for you. I'd like to offer that large percentage of important work could be inside work. It's just possible. For me, this has been true. For me, this has been true.
And thinking of you thinking of your loved ones. I'm thinking about the woman in the Fusion Beads store and her journey. I'm thinking about Lizann Bassham and all of her loves and loved ones. I feel really lucky that I got to be one of those.
Thank you for listening. I will speak with you next week. Okay, bye.
Hi, this is Wendy, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me for you. Yeah, the whole purpose of walking through grief and loss is to find out how to feel better. Did you know there are tools and skills to be learned about how to do this?
Yeah, for real, and I do it. Let's get on a connection call. It's a 45 minute Free call. I would love to offer to you when you're ready. And we'll just see if we'd be a good fit to work together. If you're ready for a little more support, and not less, and if you're ready to feel a little bit better, and to find out how to learn these tools and skills I'm ready for you.
Reach out through my website. Connect with me directly through [email protected] and we'll set it up. Heck yeah, we will. All right. Till then take really good care. Bye bye
