Episode 40: Feelings of Loss When Your Body Changes
Admitting you're struggling with feelings of grief and loss and sorrow is huge. When you're going through it, seemingly small things like just getting out of bed — or listening to a podcast that takes on loss — these are actually marks of courage.
First, an announcement: Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker is opening up a group — 13 people will spend 13 weeks preparing for the often-elevated gut punch of the holidays. If the start of Pumpkin Spice Latte season evokes dread in you, the group starts October 26 and runs through January 18. [email protected]If this sounds of interest to you, be sure to reach out to Wendy for an introductory call. You can contact her through her website, wendysloneker.com. |
Changes in Your Body
Second, today's episode is about grief around changes in your body. Chronic pain, menopause, auto-immune issues, illness, injury, aging — all of these can bring grief as you navigate new physical realities and maybe even a new identity.
You're Invited
How do you handle the changes in your body? Have a listen, share if you know someone who might be going through these feelings, and be sure to reach out to Wendy if you could use additional support: wendysloneker.com or email her at [email protected].
Second, today's episode is about grief around changes in your body. Chronic pain, menopause, auto-immune issues, illness, injury, aging — all of these can bring grief as you navigate new physical realities and maybe even a new identity.
You're Invited
How do you handle the changes in your body? Have a listen, share if you know someone who might be going through these feelings, and be sure to reach out to Wendy if you could use additional support: wendysloneker.com or email her at [email protected].
As seen on: |
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Full Episode Transcript
Wendy Sloneker
You are listening to the heart healing from loss podcast with Wendy Sloneker. This is episode 40.
Ta-da! Hey everybody, welcome and welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here. It's a big deal that you are. It's actually, I don't know if you knew this or not. But it's a mark of courage that you're actually dialing in and listening to information about grief and loss these feelings that you are maybe ready to stop feeling or ready for a change or wondering how do I even do this?
It's a mark of courage and bravery, that you're even listening to this because that means you're interested in potentially, at some point, doing something a little bit different. And this counts as doing something a little bit different. In order to get a different result, which is maybe changing how you feel maybe beginning to learn how to navigate feelings of loss and sorrow. I meant to say sorrow. I think I said Soro.
So it's important to claim this as a mark of progress, a mark of bravery, and an achievement. Because it is when you're really smack in the middle of it, and you're going through it. Small things like getting out of bed. Well, seemingly small things feel really huge when you're in grief and loss. So getting out of bed can be a major accomplishment in a day.
Heck, yes, it can. Heck yes, it can. listening to a podcast about grief and loss. This is a mark of courage. And this is mark of change. So well done. And you've been listening if you've been listening for a while. Still counts? Uh-huh. Full marks, full marks.
Hey, couple things I want to share with you. One is an announcement. I have something new, I have something different and something new that something different and something new that I am releasing? creating? I say this with question marks because I'm going to need some help.
Essentially, it's a brand new group. It's a beta project for a small group, a group of 13. I've always loved a baker's dozen. Baker's Dozen, a 13. So it's 13 weeks. And it's for 13 people, Max. Max, Max, Max.
What do I want to say about this? Well, holidays are coming. And clients in my one-to-one arena, have been talking about how they're dreading the holidays, not all of them, but some of them are already talking about dreading the winter holidays. I don't know how I'm gonna go through them. I'm kind of dreading them. This has been going on since the pumpkin spice latte came back on the scene in late August.
So I thought well shoot. How about if we? What if we could use some heart healing for the holidays, and then from the holidays? So here's the group, the group is starting October 26. And it's meeting most Wednesdays, it's meeting on one Tuesday, but most Wednesdays, all the way through January 18. This is for those who may be going through sort of the first year after perhaps somebody close to you a loved one died or passed away or a relationship got strained and you're now estranged.
First year after is for those who could use just a little bit more support and not less. Like I said, this is a beta group. So I've never done this before. These will be recorded only for the members and attendees. No other part is going to be broadcast or shared or anything like that. It's strictly a program and project only for the 13 who sign up. That's it.
They can access the replays and the recordings, no problem. So it's 13 weeks and the beta price is $1,500. If you or a loved one, feel like this is important to you, and you're ready for a little bit of a gentle shift with support the entire holiday season long and even into 2023, I would love to hop on a short call and just talk a little bit about what it is and what it isn't. I think I covered a bunch in here. So that's coming up.
We start the end of October the 26th. For sure, we're gonna eek in the Halloween, um, how, quote unquote holiday. But Thanksgiving, the whole winter, carnival series of events will be covered and supported, including New Years and then after.
So today, I want to talk a little bit about feelings of loss when your body changes. This, there are myriad changes that a body can go through. While it's either getting grown in the first place and developing. And then all through the changes throughout life injuries, accidents. Just things that happen certainly for me.
I'll just share a little bit I didn't know it was grief. But I knew that there was a combination of grief and loss that came with chronic physical pain, there was a period of about two, two and a half years where I suffered chronic pain due to a bulging disc in my neck, which was largely stress and emotion and anxiety related. There was a bulging disc in my neck to two and a half years. And honestly, it kind of changed my personality because the pain was so intense and persistent and consistent.
So feelings of loss can also happen, feelings of identity or personality change can kind of happen. I know that was true for me too. Also during menopause, which I've had the pleasure of experiencing.
So, I want to talk just a little bit more about the chronic neck pain because my body was not behaving the way I was used to, I was tired more often. I didn't understand it, I felt like my body had betrayed me in some ways by not being well, like it always had previously. And there was definitely a loss not only of ability and mobility, just in the way that I could work my neck and use my head or turn my head or not.
But it was, it just I felt different. And I felt pain all the time, physical pain all the time. And I thought that that meant something about me personally. Because it got to me. I didn't know if it would always feel that way. Which is a comment that I often hear from my clients. I didn't know if it would always feel that way. And I had to learn how to work with myself while I was in the experience of physical pain.
Hard, it was hard. And I was trying treatments that weren't working. I was terrified of going to the chiropractor, I tried trigger point injection therapies, I tried a lot of things. And I didn't even really notice when it started to fade away. Eventually it did. But I didn't know that for a good long time. And so just the general vague sense of loss can also be part of that experience of physical chronic pain.
Now the menopause thing was interesting. I don't have kids. And kids were just not part of the program this time around on the planet. So this is okay. By me and for me that was actually an active decision. And however, when biological children were 100% reproductively off the table, I did feel a twinge of oh, that's really gone now that's really not available now.
This is part of what happens the body gets different. I also had some experiences recently, I think I might have mentioned to you that my buddy told me I had to quit coffee. I live in Seattle people - just rude that my body came up with this. But I have had a long relationship with the substance of coffee since, high school. And so when my body said, Hey, we're done, and don't like how it feels not even half-caf not even decaf, no. It was painful and emotional because my relationship with and the ritual, the morning ritual that I have loved for decades, is now changing. It's actually already changed, it's done. My body wants to do long instead, I still think it's a little bit crazy, but the body's happy. So going with it.
This is all to say, if you have had injuries, or changes in your body, you may be experienced that can bring about feelings of loss changes, or a stop or halt in a familiar routine can bring about feelings of loss. Same as, it totally counts when your body changes, or your taste changes. Or I know several people in my life who have lost a sense of smell, not just due to COVID. They've lost the sense of smell. And that's something that I find that they miss so much. They kind of longing for it. This kind of longing can be a type of sadness, that is grief.
Yeah. Yeah. So be aware and be sweet and gentle with yourself around changes that your body may or may not be undergoing. Or if you have loved ones who are going through changes in their body, including and potentially, significant weight loss, this can change, give a feeling of change or identity. I know when I lost, a lot of weight all at once, I think I lost 40-45 pounds all at once. I all of a sudden felt really exposed, unsafe, and exposed.
I was naked all the time just walking around. That's not what was happening. Allow me to assure you. But I had a feeling and a sense of being vulnerable. And it was a change that I wanted. It was a change that I worked for all of those things. But I didn't know that the additional feeling of feeling so vulnerable, would be part of that change. I had to get used to it. And I did get used to it.
Yes, I hope this has been valuable. This is what I have for this week. This is what I have for you.
If you or your loved one are interested in that beta group called Holiday Heart Healing, please reach out and connect with me through my website. I would love to get on a call with you or your loved one.
Okay. Thank you for listening. And until next week, I will talk to you so soon. And I will think really sweet thoughts of you. Okay, bye.
Hi, this is Wendy, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me. For you. Yeah, the whole purpose of walking through grief and loss is to find out how to feel better. Did you know there are tools and skills to be learned about how to do this?
For real, and I do it. Let's get on a connection call. It's a 45-minute Free call. We'd love to offer to you when you're ready. And we'll just see if we'd be a good fit to work together.
If you're ready for a little more support, and not less, and if you're ready to feel a little bit better. And to find out how to repeat these, how to learn these tools and skills.
I'm ready for you.
Reach out through my website. Connect with me directly through [email protected] and we'll set it up. Heck yeah, we will do
All right, till then take really good care
You are listening to the heart healing from loss podcast with Wendy Sloneker. This is episode 40.
Ta-da! Hey everybody, welcome and welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here. It's a big deal that you are. It's actually, I don't know if you knew this or not. But it's a mark of courage that you're actually dialing in and listening to information about grief and loss these feelings that you are maybe ready to stop feeling or ready for a change or wondering how do I even do this?
It's a mark of courage and bravery, that you're even listening to this because that means you're interested in potentially, at some point, doing something a little bit different. And this counts as doing something a little bit different. In order to get a different result, which is maybe changing how you feel maybe beginning to learn how to navigate feelings of loss and sorrow. I meant to say sorrow. I think I said Soro.
So it's important to claim this as a mark of progress, a mark of bravery, and an achievement. Because it is when you're really smack in the middle of it, and you're going through it. Small things like getting out of bed. Well, seemingly small things feel really huge when you're in grief and loss. So getting out of bed can be a major accomplishment in a day.
Heck, yes, it can. Heck yes, it can. listening to a podcast about grief and loss. This is a mark of courage. And this is mark of change. So well done. And you've been listening if you've been listening for a while. Still counts? Uh-huh. Full marks, full marks.
Hey, couple things I want to share with you. One is an announcement. I have something new, I have something different and something new that something different and something new that I am releasing? creating? I say this with question marks because I'm going to need some help.
Essentially, it's a brand new group. It's a beta project for a small group, a group of 13. I've always loved a baker's dozen. Baker's Dozen, a 13. So it's 13 weeks. And it's for 13 people, Max. Max, Max, Max.
What do I want to say about this? Well, holidays are coming. And clients in my one-to-one arena, have been talking about how they're dreading the holidays, not all of them, but some of them are already talking about dreading the winter holidays. I don't know how I'm gonna go through them. I'm kind of dreading them. This has been going on since the pumpkin spice latte came back on the scene in late August.
So I thought well shoot. How about if we? What if we could use some heart healing for the holidays, and then from the holidays? So here's the group, the group is starting October 26. And it's meeting most Wednesdays, it's meeting on one Tuesday, but most Wednesdays, all the way through January 18. This is for those who may be going through sort of the first year after perhaps somebody close to you a loved one died or passed away or a relationship got strained and you're now estranged.
First year after is for those who could use just a little bit more support and not less. Like I said, this is a beta group. So I've never done this before. These will be recorded only for the members and attendees. No other part is going to be broadcast or shared or anything like that. It's strictly a program and project only for the 13 who sign up. That's it.
They can access the replays and the recordings, no problem. So it's 13 weeks and the beta price is $1,500. If you or a loved one, feel like this is important to you, and you're ready for a little bit of a gentle shift with support the entire holiday season long and even into 2023, I would love to hop on a short call and just talk a little bit about what it is and what it isn't. I think I covered a bunch in here. So that's coming up.
We start the end of October the 26th. For sure, we're gonna eek in the Halloween, um, how, quote unquote holiday. But Thanksgiving, the whole winter, carnival series of events will be covered and supported, including New Years and then after.
So today, I want to talk a little bit about feelings of loss when your body changes. This, there are myriad changes that a body can go through. While it's either getting grown in the first place and developing. And then all through the changes throughout life injuries, accidents. Just things that happen certainly for me.
I'll just share a little bit I didn't know it was grief. But I knew that there was a combination of grief and loss that came with chronic physical pain, there was a period of about two, two and a half years where I suffered chronic pain due to a bulging disc in my neck, which was largely stress and emotion and anxiety related. There was a bulging disc in my neck to two and a half years. And honestly, it kind of changed my personality because the pain was so intense and persistent and consistent.
So feelings of loss can also happen, feelings of identity or personality change can kind of happen. I know that was true for me too. Also during menopause, which I've had the pleasure of experiencing.
So, I want to talk just a little bit more about the chronic neck pain because my body was not behaving the way I was used to, I was tired more often. I didn't understand it, I felt like my body had betrayed me in some ways by not being well, like it always had previously. And there was definitely a loss not only of ability and mobility, just in the way that I could work my neck and use my head or turn my head or not.
But it was, it just I felt different. And I felt pain all the time, physical pain all the time. And I thought that that meant something about me personally. Because it got to me. I didn't know if it would always feel that way. Which is a comment that I often hear from my clients. I didn't know if it would always feel that way. And I had to learn how to work with myself while I was in the experience of physical pain.
Hard, it was hard. And I was trying treatments that weren't working. I was terrified of going to the chiropractor, I tried trigger point injection therapies, I tried a lot of things. And I didn't even really notice when it started to fade away. Eventually it did. But I didn't know that for a good long time. And so just the general vague sense of loss can also be part of that experience of physical chronic pain.
Now the menopause thing was interesting. I don't have kids. And kids were just not part of the program this time around on the planet. So this is okay. By me and for me that was actually an active decision. And however, when biological children were 100% reproductively off the table, I did feel a twinge of oh, that's really gone now that's really not available now.
This is part of what happens the body gets different. I also had some experiences recently, I think I might have mentioned to you that my buddy told me I had to quit coffee. I live in Seattle people - just rude that my body came up with this. But I have had a long relationship with the substance of coffee since, high school. And so when my body said, Hey, we're done, and don't like how it feels not even half-caf not even decaf, no. It was painful and emotional because my relationship with and the ritual, the morning ritual that I have loved for decades, is now changing. It's actually already changed, it's done. My body wants to do long instead, I still think it's a little bit crazy, but the body's happy. So going with it.
This is all to say, if you have had injuries, or changes in your body, you may be experienced that can bring about feelings of loss changes, or a stop or halt in a familiar routine can bring about feelings of loss. Same as, it totally counts when your body changes, or your taste changes. Or I know several people in my life who have lost a sense of smell, not just due to COVID. They've lost the sense of smell. And that's something that I find that they miss so much. They kind of longing for it. This kind of longing can be a type of sadness, that is grief.
Yeah. Yeah. So be aware and be sweet and gentle with yourself around changes that your body may or may not be undergoing. Or if you have loved ones who are going through changes in their body, including and potentially, significant weight loss, this can change, give a feeling of change or identity. I know when I lost, a lot of weight all at once, I think I lost 40-45 pounds all at once. I all of a sudden felt really exposed, unsafe, and exposed.
I was naked all the time just walking around. That's not what was happening. Allow me to assure you. But I had a feeling and a sense of being vulnerable. And it was a change that I wanted. It was a change that I worked for all of those things. But I didn't know that the additional feeling of feeling so vulnerable, would be part of that change. I had to get used to it. And I did get used to it.
Yes, I hope this has been valuable. This is what I have for this week. This is what I have for you.
If you or your loved one are interested in that beta group called Holiday Heart Healing, please reach out and connect with me through my website. I would love to get on a call with you or your loved one.
Okay. Thank you for listening. And until next week, I will talk to you so soon. And I will think really sweet thoughts of you. Okay, bye.
Hi, this is Wendy, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me. For you. Yeah, the whole purpose of walking through grief and loss is to find out how to feel better. Did you know there are tools and skills to be learned about how to do this?
For real, and I do it. Let's get on a connection call. It's a 45-minute Free call. We'd love to offer to you when you're ready. And we'll just see if we'd be a good fit to work together.
If you're ready for a little more support, and not less, and if you're ready to feel a little bit better. And to find out how to repeat these, how to learn these tools and skills.
I'm ready for you.
Reach out through my website. Connect with me directly through [email protected] and we'll set it up. Heck yeah, we will do
All right, till then take really good care