The First Month of the Year?

Mine was a flusher.

How was your first month of the year? Several clients and friends expressed that January was kinda on the rough and raw side... not in a good way.

And they, and maybe you, are not alone. I have plenty to say on this topic... having just lived it firsthand.

The first being, "One month is not a whole quarter, and one month of 12 is just that... no more no less."
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I'll share a few highlights, a bit about what worked, what didn't, and how January launched first quarter with what seems to be turning out to be a comedy of errors.
Truly, when it comes to living life, sometimes you just can't make this stuff up.

(NOTE: this post may share affiliate codes, meaning, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thanks for reading!)

Assurances
There is a fairly happy ending... just so you know... only because I have somehow managed to retain a sense of humor. Keep that in mind as you review the highlights, k? They don't make up a "scintillating drama" and while they weren't life threatening, I simply pose that these were a few things that impacted me in our first month of 2019.

No New Year's Cheer
Pretty much a lackluster emotional start to the year and in a phase of  mid-burnout. The year rang in and I was little-impressed, and much less excited, about a fresh new year. I wanted to be excited and pumped... just not the case this year.

I had my plan all ready and a steep little hill to charge up in January (I've been planning since early 4th quarter) and had no oooomph to get me up that dang hill and crossing off my tasks.

Sick, Sick, Sick
There was a 2-week round of sick that happened in our house this January. Fortunately, or not, my partner and I took turns at coughing and being miserable. As the entrepreneur in the house, I was incredibly envious of her being able to call in sick and still get paid. 

I ended up feeling behind, when what was really happening was... I wasn't excited about the New Year and I was ill. 

Missed my deadlines... ugh
The deadlines I told myself I would hit... well, I missed them. These weren't client deadlines... they were my deadlines. The promises I made to myself. Like, I missed about 70% of them.
Man, that feels awful and disappointing.

And I tried. 
Really tried! And this is the funny part... the last week of the month I sat down and made at least 5 videos... all awful! 

Can't-make-this-stuff-up awful. And randomly awful. 

• One video shot sideways. 
• Another one sounded awful. 
• My microphone jumped into my full cup of coffee. 
• And there was one that looked like I had just woken up... a raging case of hilarious bed head, with a drawn she's-been-sick, look-at-those-bags face.

Each video was astonishingly bad in its own right. Someday, that day will make up my entire blooper/outtakes reel. That's the happy ending, right? I have my outtakes video for all of 2019... all of the material is completely recorded... as of January!

That's a mark of efficiency, right? LOL.

Lost, found, and the usual suspects
Plus, there was all the usual ins, outs, and what else's that happen each month. Because each and every month, something interesting or unexpected does happen. It just does. Clients decided to move on. New clients came aboard. Our dog Rosie was insistent that I turn up the heater at any given moment.

"Higher. No. Higher, Mama," she'd imply as she bore holes in me from her rug right next to the heater vent. Hey, I can take a hint. What else do I have to do around here, really? 
(Yes, that was sarcasm.)

Add it all up and it felt kinda "meh."
I offer this only as evidence that some months just go that way. Even though I was hoping for more vitality and excitement... it just didn't come for me in January. Some January's are like this. That's how this one went. 

My life is still full and moving forward. It just wasn't the way I had planned, envisioned, hoped, or dreamed it would be. The miracle? I did get well again and I did retain my sense of humor. 

Somehow, and this is a big one... I was able to count about a dozen tiny wins for the month. Fanfare? No. Solid baby steps? Absolutely. 

And, y'know what? I'll take it! I'll absolutely take the tiny progress, the bits of growth in my life. Those are real for me. Those are the conductors and conveyors I have activated to carry me and my life forward. 

What else came from January? 
New insights, for sure. I didn't see them while I was smack in the middle of those 31 days, but looking back through what I accomplished in my planner? There were several firsts... I'm learning and doing more in indie publishing than I ever have in my life. 

And! I blogged more for a few different sites than I ever have before. It's a new space for me. 

I keep forgetting that I've never been here before. Yet, I frequently think I "should know" the next step, the path forward... like, because I don't (and I really don't!) I think of myself as less-than or not enough... sometimes I even think I'm dumb. And that's just not true or helpful.

The fact is, I'm new. I've never been here before!

Could it be that you've never been where you are before now? 
May I suggest the few small things that helped me not only feel better, but give some real perspective... based on evidence?

Okay, here's what helped, that didn't take a lot of time, and you can do it too!

• Debrief: Review your January (or previous month, or past few weeks) and look for the tasks and experiences that were new for you. Are you in the middle of a learning curve? Did you get lost? Did you meet any new people, either professionally or personally?
• Look for the evidence of what got accomplished. Especially and most importantly the stuff that was hard or what you did not want to do. If you broke through a procrastination jag, please accept my most sincere & heartfelt mental HIGH5!!!!
• What may be funny or humorous later? I'm currently in a scenario I can't really discuss at the moment that will be hugely funny later on... not today. The sort of thing I'll look back on and marvel at how I got through it. It's not funny now. It's not fun now... and I'll get through. One day, there's going to be a day where this is going to be hilarious... so I'm just gonna put my head down, hang on, and know that that day is coming. I'll go ahead and be grateful for that day... that day that's coming.

Let's just keep going!
Okay, so January flopped hard for me. It's only a third of a quarter, it's just 1 month of 12. I still have my sense of humour, and I still have work to do. There are resources available: friends, colleagues, clients, and more all around... that's what we have.
Today. Just pick up and keep going... give yourself an easy win... finish something tiny. Take 3 minutes, no more!, and work on your meditation practic... or novel... or stare out the window if you've been a blur these last weeks. Then, just move on.
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​Thanks for reading! Thinking of you!